I wish silence was a song I could put on headphones and listen to.

The Semester That Was

music room jamming sessions, college fests, surprises, drives on the highway,train journeys, truth or dare, treks, crossing rivers, insomnia, break ups, tears, laughter, anger, detention, hangovers, bangalore, xeroxes, trippin, classes, meditation, CMC, coffee, maggi, confusion, blind dates, singapore, blurred weekends, bunking, movies, chennai trips, shopping, samosas, concerts, alcohol, jazz, secrets, career planning, books, birthdays, exams, low attendance, kerala, exploring, mood swings, poems, volunteering, star-gazing, stupidity, rain dances, philosophy, detachment, seminars, classes, resumes, bus ride, the gang, acapellas, giggles, madness, sky blue happiness
Third year was the bestest. Till now.

Train Spotting

I love watching trains. My room overlooks the railway line. Long blue trains rumble and rattle past,people hanging on to the door. Some coaches are painted with funny ads in bright purple or red,these are usually the green and yellow local trains-on the whole, making for a colourful sight. In the night,you can see silver silhouettes of people standing at the footboard.

Engines are smart and funky..and also warm and welcoming. Sometimes they bring along the train,sometimes theyre alone,and free. Driver enjoying his little ingin to himself for a while.

Some introvert trains hurriedly whoosh past,window bars merge with motion lines. Some slow down,let out a long lazy hoot and come to a halt. The loud ones blow their conches,a distant POOOM which gradually grows into a Doppler effect crescendo and fades away.

Goods trains are morose and wooden though. 68 wagons trudge along,their souls heavy with coal. They creak,give out exhausted pressure-cooker sighs.They remind me of escaped-convicts-turned-philanthropists.The corduroy ones with their closed boxes slink away, like theyre hiding some dark,murky secrets. The water tankers are way better though, they dont look as emaciated, with their well rounded bellies.

And the best way to watch a train,is to watch it till the end,till the picture of the standing man waving his flag disappears round the bend.

Must Listen!!

Virtual Barbershop!!!The most amazing piece of recording ever!
Download here .. Needs high quality headphones,wont work otherwise.

Heavy Stuff!

Been reading this thought-provoking book called the Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera. The gist of the entire book is that everything happens but once,everyone has only one life to live(as opposed to Nietzsche's idea of eternal return). This one-time occurence may be seen as not to have occured at all, thus making it insignificant and of no consequence.This means that our lives are 'light' and this lightness of our actions,the lightness of our being is unbearable-in the end,making it heavy. Somewhat a confusing concept,it goes around in circles but rather nice to ponder about.

Personally,I think the book is a bit too much to take after the first three chapters-it turns out to be rather depressing and disturbing with the main guy Tomas moaning around all the time.I found the way he analyses the weight/lightness issue rather cool though.

Excerpt:

" If every second of our lives recurs an infinite number of times, we are nailed to eternity as Jesus Christ was nailed to the cross. It is a terrifying prospect. In the world of eternal return the weight of unbearable responsibility lies heavy on every move we make. That is why Nietzsche called the idea of eternal return the heaviest of burdens(das schwerste Gewicht).

If eternal return is the heaviest of burdens, then our lives can stand out against it in all their splendid lightness.

But is heaviness truly deplorable and lightness splendid?

The heaviest of burdens crushes us, we sink beneath it, it pins us to the ground. But in the love poetry of every age, the woman longs to be weighed down by the man's body. The heaviest of burdens is therefore simultaneously an image of life's most intense fulfillment. The heavier the burden, the closer our lives come to the earth, the more real and truthful they become.

Conversely, the absolute absence of a burden causes man to be lighter than air, to soar into the heights, take leave of the earth and his earthly being, and become only half real, his movements as free as they are insignificant.

What then shall we choose? Weight or lightness?"

Showers of Blessings

Its been raining since last night!And not the heavy-downpour-messy-mucky-stay-indoors types. Its the go-dance-around-hair-loose-bollywood-ishtyle kind. On and off spells,just the right amount of clouds and wind too.

Everybody go get wet!

Vellore Part 1

The familiar silhouette of the Sathuvachari hills. After spending three years in this dry, hot, dusty little town, I've grown to love it. I've walked straight to these hills across the paddy/sugarcane fields and coconut farms.Behind the rows of coconut trees is the Palar river which I crossed on foot(quite an awful idea,it turned out to be Vellore's drainage and garbage dump-but it was an accomplishment all the same). Most of these hills have old ruined forts on top that have never ceased to fascinate me. Quite a plain photograph but special to me, a reminder of my many Vellore adventures.

I look out of my bus window and this is what I see. Seems to welcome me home.

random realisations...

(yea..this is to make up for a month of no blogging!!)

I'm growing OLD.
My memories are fading.
My hair is falling.
I worry about the size of my ass-its increasing with my age.
I'm worried that other people's memories will also fade and they might forget me someday.

My all time favourite chord is Dmsus2.(whatever d,e,f,a is)
I want to be a drummer.

I have a thing for tall lanky guys with curly hair.A bit like fido dido.
I have a thing for dark guys.And dark girls too.
Oh my god i may be bisexual.

I talk too much.
I think too much.

I'm way too good for anyone else.
Sometimes I think people are really dumb.
I am most distracted when I'm supposed to be doing something very important.Like
right now.
I waste a lot of time.
I put alarms to wake up at 3 am to listen to music when everything else is quiet.
Everything about 3 am is awesomely beautifully depressing.

I want my voice range to be 4 octaves.Sigh.

I'm not fat-I'm just bombacious-vivacious-curvacious-ohmygodaciously generously layered with extra tissue.
So I have an ego problem.
Most guy friends I have have fallen for me sometime or the other-I'm not sure if thats good or bad.
I'm sick of being called cute.Where is that smart outgoing sexy image?
I like earthy people.
I like full stops.

I'm gonna run a music school someday.
My house is also gonna have a huge library with all the books that ive been collecting since a kid. I wanna sing great gig in the sky with a big bunch of friends in the dead of night on top of a hill,with a bonfire burning.. and screams and laughter echoing.
Detachment is my strength.And my weakness.
I never get bored of myself.
I love vellore.SO much.


I love planning surprises and making stuff for people.
I'm not a movie person.I havent seen tons of good movies.I'm too restless to sit thru a movie.
I dont understand fantasy or sci-fi.Unless its star wars where yoda,i like.
I dont watch Friends/Southpark/many other sitcoms most people like.
No,I am NOT a boring person!
The two movies i know every dialogue and every scene of are KKHH and Youve Got Mail.

I think i'm morphing into a guy.
I cant live abroad.
I hate tall buildings.
Neutral colours of things abroad put me off.Everything there is either grey black white or blue.Or grey again.
U dont get sunrise coffee there either.
I'm either singing or extremely quiet when high.
I smell pages of books.

I'm almost 20...I'm entering the peak of my youth.
I cant see myself 20 years from now.Or even 10.
Or even 1 and a half years from now.
(Thats cuz i dont have a time machine......)
I make really bad jokes sometimes.
Other times im just awesomely witty.
I've done the craziest things ever in the past 2 months.
Most of the mistakes I've made were worth making.

I've invented words-My best was this word "flouge" rhyming with rouge...which means
trouble.
I love my friends...each n every one of them..so much...
I laugh a lot.
I like bright things.
I rarely regret things even if I do something wrong on an impulse.
I regret breaking someone's heart.
I contradict myself.


I have a very very very bad temper which i struggle to keep under control.
I suffer from foot in mouth syndrome.
I'm very moody.
I used to go the lib 3rd floor just to watch the trains pass by.Also used to count how many boogies goods trains have.
I listen to JLo and the Pussycat Dolls sometimes.
There's nothing like walking on the bunds thru paddy fields.
There's nothing like a rooftop parrdyyy with gooood moosik.

I idolize my parents.
I try to be as non judgemental as possible.
I drool if I sleep flat.
My favourite animal is the cow.I used to go pet em during my evenin walks here.
I'm generally stable n steady.
I'm gonna experience everything in life.
I'm crazy about philosophy.
I hate preachy books.
I have loose hinges-I move my hands n head a lot while speaking.

I discover new awesomenesses about myself everyday.
I want to have kids someday.
I cant imagine living with a non musical person.
I wanna improve my singing skills.
Smoke rings fascinate me..


I judge how fat I am by examining how many veins show at the back of my hand.
I have to ride a water bike,water ski and see mt.everest before i die.
I sometimes long for em shoes with lights.
I'm known for being clumsy and hurting myself everytime I climb a hill.


I cant lead a slow life-I need to be busy,I need a dynamic fast paced life.
Breaks from city life will be spent in ma acres n acres of land in kerala/karnataka which i'm gonna buy or inherit from a rich father in law.

I cant follow a routine- I get bored of things easily.
I'm good with people.
I'm crazy about earth science.
I dont particularly like what i'm studying right now.
Its stupid to culture microbes when they're everywhere anyway.
I need to figure out how to get rich soon.
I'm getting nowhere.

I'm quite satisfied with my 20 years of life.

InsomAniac

I sleep only to keep from thinking.

A Thought Experiment

Jusht only the bestest book I've read of late:

God's Debris by Scott Adams.

Gives some really different perspectives into religion, science, God and the like. I'm not much of a Dilbert fan but I loved this book. It's basically a conversation between a delivery guy and an old wise man who explains his thought-provoking various fundas. The different concepts are explained beautifully,in a crisp and simple style of writing. Not for people who cant accept/appreciate radical new ideas, but if you're interested in philosophy then go,buy,read. Now.

Impressed

Some people leave me spellbound.

Song of the Past

Its such an inexplicably warm wonderful feeling to listen to an old song you've dug up from that carton of dusty combwebby tapes. Idiotic half-smile on my face,dreamy.

"Carolina Moon....keep shiiiiiiningg......."

Nos to Pix

Came across this awesome site while browsing the other day...
I always found it dry to read statistics and big figures so I think its a pretty good way to make one visualize the quantity.
Check it out here.

They spoil everything

I did not know till recently about the controversy regarding one of my all time fav songs...Puff the magic dragon.
Its a song about the end of childhood innocence, or so I thought.

""Puff" was an obvious name for a song about smoking pot; little Jackie Paper's surname referred to rolling papers; "autumn mist" was either clouds of marijuana smoke or a drug-induced state; the land of "Hanah Lee" was really the Hawaiian village of Hanalei, known for its particularly potent marijuana plants; and so on."
(http://www.snopes.com/music/songs/puff.htm)

Hmmm! 

Istanbul:Memories of a City

A hauntingly beautiful childhood memoir. Pamuk shares with us his own personal journey of life in Istanbul-it is not only the description and the history of the city,its landscape and people-but the relationship between Istanbul and Pamuk that is poignant. There is a certain oneness between the two;the fall of the Ottoman Empire is his personal loss, the ruins of the city his cause for lament. The B&W pictures complement his state of mind. Yes there is a strange somewhat unfinished shadow of beauty that hangs in the air, in spite of the sorrowful and wistful writing (like the old Ottoman villas still have ivy creeping over the crumbling walls).

I probably liked the book a lot because I am tired of Naipaul miserably bumbling about trying to find his roots.

Drawback: You might never want to hear the word 'melancholy' again after seeing it appear about a hundred times in the book.

Still I'd say its a must-read, at least once.

Happy New Year

May you all have grand new beginnings and happy endings!!

Raindrops aint fallin on my head:(

Sanity has faded into oblivion.
What kind of time is 2 pm-5 pm to hold an exam ?*fume*

I was stuck in the exam hall while it rained...showered outside,and it was so beeyootiful,the smell of earth,the kids playing near the railway track(i sat near the window),a typical stroll-along-humming-a-song kind of day,which is rather rare in Vellore. On the other side of the window,I was drawing a somewhat deformed nephron,while a grumpy voice announced, " 1 hour to go".

I yawned. I smelt guavas. I dont know why it was smelling guavas,but it was.I dreamt of hot cups of chai,bhutta,samosas...the next question on nutrition didnt help.I hurriedly finished my paper and ran out of the building...

To be greeted by wet streets and an emerging sun mocking me. Gah,where are the clouds when you want em?

Hpmh. I will go home and yenjay in hyderabadi rain.

Latest

Reads:
Margaret Atwood-Oryx and Crake: a thoroughly disturbing book. Do NOT read.
Mulk Raj Anand-Pilpali Sahab: Bore.

Currently reading Guns Germs and Steel:A short history of everybody for the past 13000 years by Jared Diamond and Staring at the Sun by Julian Barnes.

Music:
Thermal and A Quarter and Dave Matthews Band.
Also been listening to Maiden again trying to memorize lyrics to go to the showww in B'lore(March 17th)!!! Damn excited bout it,hope they turn up coz its not up on the official site yet.

Thats about it. Lazing away the days now that exams are over, got some ideas that will hopefully materialize soon.

Blink....beep beep...buzzzz....crash.