Monday, December 22, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
( for those who read part 1 a year back.. here's part 2 )
Confessions of an almost 21 year old.
I am almost proper adult!
I have to start acting and feeling like one.
I have to stop chewing my nails.
I have to stop saying "when i grow up I'm going to.."
The seeds of maturity are sprouting i think.
Change has happened- in a series of overnight life changing incidents put together.
Change is happening..Waking up wiser everyday.
I've learnt from other people's mistakes as well as my own.
I've read so much n its amazing how so many more books are waiting to be devoured.
I've listened to so much music n theres still so much music floating around waiting to be heard.
My problem is that I'm always in a hurry to get things done.
Because there's so much more left to do no after that?
Being single gives me a strange feeling of self-satisfaction.
I love it.
I'm an extremist.
I'm an ICSE-snob.
Watercolours are a weakness.
Sugar cubes also.
Transparency is just so important in any relationship.
I need to stop accidentally sending messages to wrong recipients.Soon.
It takes guts to accept change.
I do enid blyton quizzes when I'm bored.
My thoughts form faster than I can put them into words.
I get alarmed sometimes about where my career is heading.. eeii what am i going to do.
I rarely forget.
Meaningless things are special to me.
I have a photographic memory.
My mood almost always depends on the weather.
Home is so solid and real.
Reason and emotion are constantly battling inside me.
I want those glow shoes and i want to go partying in them.. it might actually make me dance n all.
I like gel toothpastes they look like light sabers from star wars.
You'll find white spots of sleepily dribbled toothpaste on my nightclothes.
I love my room.
I love the squirrel on the window sill.
Gimme a keyboard and I can sit in one place for hours together.
I like drinking coffee out of steel tumbler and tea out of a cup.
The weirdest thing I've ever been called is " subtly vicious".
I dont understand break ups and cutting off completely from someone who's been part of your life at some point of time.
I believe everything can be sorted out if you can stretch your capacity to understand and accept.
I'm a total optimist.
I am tired of writing illogical tests that come nowhere close to testing your actual problem-solving skills.
Its not like I dont have answers i always have too many and cant pick.
I suck at decision-making.
I'm pretty much going around in circles.
I cant walk slowly.( you guys know..!)
I've been told I resemble a penguin more than once.
I always have something to say.
I am repetitive.
I seem to attract mallus like a magnet.
I finally found where all the cute guys in hyd are. Google! Eyecandy
I think the easiest way for a girl to get a guy is to play hard to get.
Its never worked for me.
I've found that love is what you want it to be.
I've found love.
I cant drive big cars- I dont understand th dimensions and what I might hit when i turn.
Anything to do with oceans and seas and ships and ports and marine animals fascinate me.
IT parks are just depressing.
I've written over 100 poems.
I hate being called a poet.
The word reminds of me an old man reciting his lines to silent brooding pieces of victorian furniture.
Or a girl with airy-fairy ideas about the world.
and I am not both!
I'm a writer.
I'm still waiting for that point in life where everything will settle and go smoothly.. but whats point of life being straight line graph.
Put them bundled up sine waves all over the place.
I desperately want to change my email and blog address( moimystique!) but its too much of pain now,after all these years.
There's nothing like roaming around on the streets of chennai and having coffee on the roadside.
There was a time when I thought i was in love but i wasnt sure.
Then i thought i was in love again ,this time i was sure, but it was too complicated.
And i was suddenly falling in love all over the place and decided i must be having some hormonal problems.
I've realised that nothing is constant.
Its always the beginning when you think its the end.
I am convinced that the world needs me.
I couldnt ask for more.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Monday, October 06, 2008
Blue toothpaste makes teeth blue but red doesnt seem to make em red.
Songs can hold your life.
Men are SO annoying but we need them anyway...Sigh.
You never feel like writing in a new white plain pages book.
Your own voice sounds better when no one's around.
There's no reverse gear.
You never want to throw away old posters that have been in your room.
The alphabet 'L' reminds me of water.
Its mortifying to send a message to the wrong recipient, switch off phone for ages throw away sim card for a while and then get a delivery report when you switch it back on.
Its comforting to know that other people are as clueless as you are.
Monday, September 22, 2008
So I read up on this company,it is a Japanese company called YKK,the biggest manufacture of zippers in the world. I checked my jeans, bags, all zips had YKK inscribed on them, I hadnt even noticed before. Branded zippers!! There are even fake ones cuz they're so popular.
Read up on zipper history.Then got to reading bout how Velcro came about.
Suddenly have a new range of things to dwell on.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
Every night I see this light from my room. It is far away,blinks yellow and green alternately.My window faces the hills,which line the highway.There is a lot of empty land in between.so when i look out,i can see a million tiny lights far far away and total blackness otherwise.And towards the left there is this mystery light flashing throughout the night.. and its quite big even from this distance and if you stare long enough you can see that white ring around it.
My room view is all about peace and quiet this year.Lot of activity, but peaceful activity goes on outside.Very unlike railway facing room of last year,with the constant rumbling of trains.
There's a pond outside covered in moss,which big yellow machine came and swallowed up yesterday.So now its all clear, and mirrors the sky and clouds and trees. Can spot kingfishers and white birds taking dips sometimes.Blue bus sails by every morning at 7ish,I think its a school bus of some sort.Its a quiet road, used to walk there very often.. can almost see myself walkin down when I look out.Farmers at work in their paddy fields, stray cow or two, bullock carts. Its like watching still life, but with slight changes in the painting everyday.
When its noisy,its jarring-when its peaceful,the calm is overwhelming. Life's like that no sometimes?
Annoyingly loud squirrel tries to strike a balance though, waking us up every dawn.Pah.
Saturday, September 06, 2008
Then no today i am also very happy because for first time in life I worked out sum without looking at option and I got 12487.5 and wow it was one of options and it was right!! I was so thrilled I will become like Byju guy and they will stick posters of me with my 100 percentile in CAT all over the place yay.
Tried to sort out things for a friend but suddenly found myself more involved than expected..weekend was blur of hyperemotional phone calls and math. Patience and tolerance levels got tested like anything. Mercury meniscus reached alarming levels but somehow everything blew over and then there was peace. Also saw sad old Hindi movies... Amitabh is such a hero no boohoo.
As always, life here is sudden burst of activity with me trying to frantically juggle everything at once, and then there'll be a lull when everything moves at typically Vellorian slow motion before next hurricane arrives.
As of now I need sleep.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Fear next turns fully to your body, which is already aware that something terribly wrong is going on. Already your lungs have flown away like a bird and your guts have slithered away like a snake. Now your tongue drops dead like an opossum, while your jaw begins to gallop on the spot. Your ears go deaf. Your muscles begin to shiver as if they had malaria and your knees to shake as though they were dancing. Your heart strains too hard, while your sphincter relaxes too much. And so with the rest of your body. Every part of you, in the manner most suited to it, falls apart. Only your eyes work well. They always pay proper attention to fear.
Quickly you make rash decisions. You dismiss your last allies: hope and trust. There, you've defeated yourself. Fear, which is but an impression, has triumphed over you.
The matter is difficult to put into words. For fear, real fear, such as shakes you to your foundation, such as you feel when you are brought face to face with your mortal end, nestles in your memory like a gangrene: it seeks to rot everything, even the words with which to speak of it. So you must fight hard to express it. You must fight hard to shine the light of words upon it. Because if you don't, if your fear becomes a wordless darkness that you avoid, perhaps even manage to forget, you open yourself to further attacks of fear because you never truly fought the opponent who defeated you."
- from Life of Pi by Yann Martel.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Thursday, May 01, 2008
music room jamming sessions, college fests, surprises, drives on the highway,train journeys, truth or dare, treks, crossing rivers, insomnia, break ups,tears, laughter, anger, detention, hangovers, bangalore, xeroxes, trippin, classes, meditation, CMC, coffee, maggi, confusion, blind dates, singapore, blurred weekends, bunking, movies, chennai trips, shopping, samosas, concerts, alcohol, jazz, secrets, career planning, books, birthdays, exams, low attendance, kerala, exploring, mood swings, poems, volunteering, star-gazing, stupidity, rain dances, philosophy, detachment, seminars, classes, resumes, bus rides, he, the gang, acapellas, giggles, madness, sky blue happiness
Third year was the bestest. Till now.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Engines are smart and funky..and also warm and welcoming.Sometimes they bring along the train,sometimes theyre alone,and free.Driver enjoying his little ingin to himself for a while.
Some introvert trains hurriedly whoosh past,window bars merge with motion lines.Some slow down,let out a long lazy hoot and come to a halt.The loud ones blow their conches,a distant POOOM which gradually grows into a Doppler effect crescendo and fades away.
Goods trains are morose and wooden though.68 wagons trudge along,their souls heavy with coal.They creak,give out exhausted pressure-cooker sighs.They remind me of escaped convicts-turned-philanthropists.The corduroy ones with their closed boxes slink away,like theyre hiding some dark,murky secrets.The water tankers are way better though,they dont look as emancipated,with their well rounded bellies.
And the best way to watch a train,is to watch it till the end,till the picture of the standing man waving his flag disappears round the bend.
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Personally,I think the book is a bit too much to take after the first three chapters-it turns out to be rather depressing and disturbing with the main guy Tomas mooning around all the time.I found the way he analyses the weight/lightness issue rather cool though.
" If every second of our lives recurs an infinite number of times, we are nailed to eternity as Jesus Christ was nailed to the cross. It is a terrifying prospect. In the world of eternal return the weight of unbearable responsibility lies heavy on every move we make. That is why Nietzsche called the idea of eternal return the heaviest of burdens(das schwerste Gewicht).
If eternal return is the heaviest of burdens, then our lives can stand out against it in all their splendid lightness.
But is heaviness truly deplorable and lightness splendid?
The heaviest of burdens crushes us, we sink beneath it, it pins us to the ground. But in the love poetry of every age, the woman longs to be weighed down by the man's body. The heaviest of burdens is therefore simultaneously an image of life's most intense fulfillment. The heavier the burden, the closer our lives come to the earth, the more real and truthful they become.
Conversely, the absolute absence of a burden causes man to be lighter than air, to soar into the heights, take leave of the earth and his earthly being, and become only half real, his movements as free as they are insignificant.
What then shall we choose? Weight or lightness?"
Friday, March 14, 2008
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Too much taken for granted,too much time and energy wasted.Too many people who like their world of 'high',forgetting about everything else.Addiction is a voracious beast,chewing away nonchalantly at your life like its a piece of gum.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
I look out of my bus window and this is what I see.Seems to welcome me home.